


God Only Knows

by orphan_account



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: M/M, i think i was 1 am when i wrote this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-24
Updated: 2018-10-24
Packaged: 2019-08-06 22:24:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,926
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16396220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Shane finds a photo of Garrett and Andrew, and decides it would be fun to bring it up.





	God Only Knows

**Author's Note:**

> hey yall, its ur friendly orphan here (shall i name myself something?) maybe orphan should be my new pseudonym  
> anyway so i saw that one pic of black and white gandrew smiling at each other at some party and it inspired me to write this  
> honestly bless u all who commented on the last few fics ive posted, u guys are the best and i love you so much  
> rip me if there are many errors (i dont rlly proof read)

“Christ, look at you.”

Garrett doesn’t hear him at first, he’s distracted wondering why his laptop fan is still making such a fuss when the rendering completed half an hour ago. He’s given up logically trying to solve the problem and his now carelessly hitting the bottom of the computer as if burping a baby. That’s not working either. 

He turns the device back over to try a different technique, that’s when Shane’s disbelieving voice processes in his mind. 

Garrett turns his shoulders to look over at his friend, sitting on the far side of the couch, “Look at me, how?”

Shane smirks without looking up at Garrett, immediately he knows he’s onto something that he shouldn’t be. He’s seen something that wasn’t intended to be seen by Shane Dawson. 

“Wait, what are you looking at? Shane, what is that?” Garrett’s tone is high and panicked, Shane almost flinches from the sudden transition in pitch. Garrett pushed himself off the couch and gallops over to where Shane is sitting; meanwhile his laptop slowly tips onto the floor, successfully nipping Cheeto’s tail — who quite literally flies into the air in surprise. Neither of the men bat at eye at the distressed cat. 

Shane sinks into the cushions behind him and tries his best to hide his phone screen into his chest, away from Garrett’s prying eyes, who is leaning over his frame threateningly. Shane could only imagine the shadow he was casting over him.

“Stop that, show me what you were looking at. What do you mean ‘look at you’?”

“Alright, okay, calm down. Jesus—don’t fall on me, I can’t carry both our weight.” Shane says with wheezing laugh, Garrett would have laughed along with him if only it weren’t for the fact that his heart rate had dangerously increased in the past two seconds, and he’s scared shitless of what he’s going to be shown. 

“Show me.”

Shane smiles warmly this time; surprising. And finally rotates his wrist, turning his phone screen around for Garrett to drink in the image. It was of him and Andrew at some party, one he’d been too drunk to remember. He was wearing his leather jacket in the picture, and although it had a black and white filter on it, he could still recognise the pale cream dress shirt underneath; his mother had given it to him.

That wasn’t so scary. Garrett let out a quiet breath, relieved, and sat back onto the couch with his ass on his heels. He and Shane were face to face, now with Shane looking more closely at the phone with his neck craned forward. 

_What’s so interesting about that picture?_ He wanted to ask.

“‘Look at you’? Why, do you think I look good?” Garrett asked with a quick giggle. Break the ice, that’s it, he was trying to break the ice so he could smoothly slot in his more important questions; ones like _why are you so intrigued by it, why do you keep smiling at me like that_ and _why do you care?_

And maybe a quick; _do you know?_

“No—I mean, sure you do,” Shane’s smile was becoming harder, “Though what really caught my attention was how you were looking at _Andrew_.”

_Ohp. Shit. Emergency._

Garrett stifled the urge to rub his dry palms together as best he could (it was a nervous/excited tick of his), and tried to remember all the neutral acting tips he’d been given in theatre.

“Huh?”

Shane looked back down at the phone, then back up at Garrett — who was trying very fucking hard to keep a straight face — then back down at the phone, all whilst still smiling devilishly, “Well, despite what you may think, Garrett, I’m not an idiot. I know what love is when I see it.”

Garrett swallowed saliva down the wrong tube and choked on his own spit, “Excuse you?”

Shane sighed before looking from left to right; Garrett supposed he was checking if anyone else was in the house. Ryland was upstairs trying to give Honey a bath, Uno was down with them eating from his bowl and Cheeto had scuttled away sulking about his tail. They were alone.

“You, in love with Andrew?“ Shane was obviously becoming nervous now, possibly wondering if he’d got everything wrong, yet he continued, “I mean you do talk about him like—no, wait, I know this isn’t my place to say—“

Garrett was lost for words. “No, it’s really not. Shane, you can’t say shit like that, people get the wrong idea.”

Shane looked offended for a split second; most likely because the serious side of Garrett was coming out hard and fast, and he was not prepared for that yet. They both suddenly felt very uncomfortable. And annoyed.

“What are you talking about? No one’s here to hear this.”

Garrett shook his head, “That’s not what I mean, you can’t go around saying that. It’s not right.”

“I was trying to be offensive, really, I just wanted to point it out—just in case, I don’t know, you didn’t feel comfortable telling me.” 

That didn’t make any sense to Garrett. Surely if he didn’t feel comfortable discussing these things with Shane, it still wouldn’t be alright to force it upon him. That was the opposite of comforting someone. 

Garrett scoffed, he almost regretted it, “That doesn’t validate what you keep doing.”

“What I keep doing? What’s that?”

“Going around tell people I’ve got something for Andrew!” Garrett threw his hands up momentarily, “You’ve brought this up before—in Andrew’s blind date video. With Megan.”

And what a goddamn mess that video had been. The obvious cock-blocking from Shane, the oh-so subtle cock-blocking from Garrett and the disinterest from Matt. Garrett had had an awful night trying to pretend he was excited with the idea of setting Andrew up; he’d thankfully made it years without being in a serious relationship and then Shane went ahead and unknowingly threatened to ruin that for Garrett. He liked single Andrew. Single Andrew meant more for Garrett to take, it meant more desperation for touch and attention from Andrew and Garrett was also more than happy to give.

“And that’s exactly what I mean. You brought it up yourself in that video, you were the one being completely oblivious to the fact that you were openly crushing on Andrew.”

Never had Garrett ever heard those words be brought together in a sentence to form whatever the fuck it was Shane had just said. 

Garrett was becoming pissed. This was a breach into his privacy, they hadn’t spoken about this video for months, why did it need to come up now? All Shane had seen was a bloody picture, one in which he and Andrew were facing each other holding drinks, laughing. Why did Shane feel the need to attack him now?

“What are you—? I’ve no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Don’t bullshit me, Garrett.” Shane moved his hand as if he was going to rest it somewhere on Garrett, attempting to reassure him, but decided against it, “I’m being completely serious when I say that you did bring this upon yourself.”

Garrett gaped, he was horrified. “Wh—fuck off—no, I didn’t! You were the one who asked me if I was the one in love with him,” he was getting damn mad and Shane could sense that, “You repeatedly teased about me wanting to f—to do that to him, you embarrassed me in front of Megan, and Matt, and asked me if I thought about Andrew at night! How the fuck was I the one who ‘brought it upon myself’?” Garrett spat the last part out with a severely sarcastic tone. He’d never meant for his argument to escalate to this level of seriousness, but here he was; sitting on his own legs with a bead of sweat tickling the skin between his shoulder blades.

It wasn’t fair that Shane got to bring this up, to accuse him of something he was comfortable with—wasn’t ready to admit to the world. He’d only just come to terms with it himself, how was it right for Shane to think it alright to dig up for his own entertainments sake?

It wasn’t as if he’d been miserable that entire video, he’d been happy, he had legitimately been excited for Andrew. Just not for the possibility that he and Megan could successfully hit off to the point where they’d later establish a relationship out of it — thank god they hadn’t. 

Shane shrunk back, “Okay, okay, okay okay. Fuck, that was bad of me, I know that was bad, I’m sorry.” Garrett cocked his head, he’d already partially been ready to forgive him (that’s just who he was), “And I’m in the wrong to think it was fine to bring this up, or throw this on you without you even mentioning it — but, but! Take a look at the picture again, look at yourself.”

Garrett gave in, he let Shane flash the bright colours into his face again. This time he took the phone into his hand and peered at it carefully. Time to prove Shane wrong once again, that there was nothing in this stupid picture that could indicate even the slightest speck of lo—

_Oh._

_…Okay._

He hadn’t paid enough attention to his facial expression; the one directed at Andrew. His mouth was pulled tight into a smile, it was still soft though, the main source of affection came straight through the smile. His glasses looked dark in the photo, most likely because of the filter, and hid most of the expression in his eyes. He could see his relaxed eyebrows though; looking closer now, Garrett realised that the entirety of his face was relaxed. Comfortable. With Andrew. 

His arms were crossed, not to shun Andrew away through body language, but to hide his view from his stomach (Garrett _did_ remember that much). Andrew was leaning back from Garrett slightly, his body was positioned mid-laugh. Andrew was holding his drink up to his face, meaning to take a sip but the lip of the cup seemed to never reach its destination. Because Andrew was too occupied almost covering his mouth with his free hand as he laughed joyously. Garrett could see the rise of his cheeks and the peek of a curled mouth, there were laugh lines by his eyes; he looked unbelievably happy. 

Garrett wishes he could remember what he’d said that made Andrew look that way. He wanted to see that side of Andrew more, or maybe he does but just doesn’t pay enough attention to his reactions anymore. Suddenly there was a sting deep in his chest, Garrett handed back over the phone.

As annoying as it was to admit; Shane was right.

Garrett looked in love. 

“Okay.”

What was the point of making a fuss of it? There was a the evidence, right there, online for everyone to see. And whether or not they realised it just as Shane did, it was only a matter of time before news broke out anyway, until Andrew was aware of it. So what was the point of panicking, or even denying it? Garrett’s lizard brain couldn’t find one.

Shane looked up sharply from the screen, “Okay?” he asked.

Garrett lifted himself off the couch, “Yeah, okay. You’re right. I look in love.”

Shane was frowning when Garrett turned around again, this time sitting back down by his laptop; which he’d picked up from the hairy floor. He looked confused, maybe even a bit afflicted. 

“God.” Shane sighed, burying his unshaven face into his hands. Now Garrett was concerned.

“What? Why are you sad now?”

“I just… this wasn’t meant to happen like this, I’m truly—I didn’t mean for it to be like this. But just for the record…” Shane noisily turned his phone off and plonked it somewhere into the cushions, then in a completely different tone of voice, “You look, or you are?”

“What does that mean?”

“You look in love, or you _are_ in love?”

Garrett sat in their mutual silence, thinking of the best way to answer this question without ruining whatever it was their friendship group had become since Morgan’s move. Was their fate lying on this one answer? 

“With Andrew?” is all he could think of.

Shane lifted his face back up and looked at Garrett, “With Andrew.”

Another moment of thinking.

Garrett weighed his options. Telling Shane may be the best decision, to get his confession off his chest, to have someone guide him with escaping his pining hell, to have someone understand what he’s going through mentally whenever Andrew is Andrew; whenever he laughs shrilly, or covers his mouth with his palm in excitement and disbelief — all those sinfully adorable behavioural traits he has.

But then telling Shane may be the worst decision, to have his secret out in the wind, and although he trusted Shane with his life, literally, telling secrets he’d never want to be heard almost always came with consequences. Garrett had sworn to himself that he’d never dwell on potential crushes on close friends, it didn’t happen often, but when it did he’d managed to push it to the depth of his mind and forget about it — that way it would go away. There were the occasional cases where either Garrett had been too forward or he’d gone right out and told them, and had discovered that doing that ended in a loss of friendship. Which wasn’t ideal when it came to Andrew Siwicki.

The only problem was those types of crushes lasted a few (two to four) months, this one had lasted longer than a year. That’s 391 days and 55,85 weeks. Garrett had since given up hoping it would vanish quietly.

Ah—fuck it. What’s the real harm? 

_Losing Andrew forever. Having him hate me. Having him disgusted by the sight—no, the mere thought of me. That’s a real harm. Being the cause for this entire friendship group falling apart. Turning people against each other; making people uncomfortable to be around me — scared to get close to me. Revolted. Homophobic. Lonely. Forever. All harms._

Ah. Better get on with it, then.

“Are—am.” Garrett took a deep breath. “I am."

Shane blew air out his lips, he almost looked dazed, starstruck. Perhaps he _had_ only been teasing Garrett earlier, maybe he hadn’t meant to get this answer out of his best friend. Garrett found that, surprisingly, he didn’t mind.

“Well, okay, that’s fine. Expected.”

It was his turn to smile shyly, “Really?”

“Yeah—I mean, I wasn’t lying when I said you make it pretty damn obvious, we all had our suspicions.”

“ _We_? You better not tell me you guys’ve been placing bets, too.”

Shane let out a deep chuckle, “No, no no, we wouldn’t dare. It’s just that after I saw that photo and—the fact that it’s floating around online, I thought it would be better to deal with it now, instead of being accused.”

“To be fair I don’t think it would have made a different, I felt pretty accused by you.” _And there was nothing to_ deal with _, it’s not like I’m a burden. Neither is my love interest._

Shane held up his palm in apology, “Of course, shit, sorry. Fucked up again. I’m bad with these things, I’m a fixer sure, but when it comes to you and Andrew I just get nervous, that’s all.”

“Uh, it’s all good.”

“No, it’s not. Really, Garrett, I’m sorry for being so rude and forcing you to come out to me. That should have been all on you, that’s your entitlement. I shouldn’t have spoiled it.”

“Good thing I’ve already come out, then.” Garrett smiled, then become more serious once he saw that Shane wasn’t mimicking him, “Oh, right. I mean, gosh, what can I say? It’s okay? It was a pretty shitty thing to do, but in a messed up way you’ve helped me fully come to terms with the realness of it. So—thank you.”

Garrett wasn’t sure how to feel. He didn’t really feel one with himself at that exact moment, almost as if he was having an outer body experience. It was as if he was looking down upon himself as he spoke those words.

“Please, don’t.” Shane’s tone wasn’t in the slightest playful. He felt bad.

“No, Shane, I’m serious, it’s okay. Don’t beat yourself up about it, it’s over now, I’m fine, you’re fine. All that’s next is to see if Andrew’s fine with it.”

Garrett focused his attention back to his laptop screen. There was a shattering in the glass in the left-hand corner. _Fuck._ That would take some money out of his bank to get fixed. What had caused it to fall, he didn’t know, Garrett didn’t remember leaving it tilted. But then again he had thrown it by his hip in a frantic rush to get to Shane’s phone.

Shane spoke up again then, his voice quieter than before but desperate for Garrett’s attention.

“I think Andrew will be more than fine with it.”

Garrett didn’t hear him at first — but when Shane’s words do process within his mind, he noticed the awfully obvious smile behind them.

Maybe the look on Garrett’s face was a reflection of the one on Andrew’s. After all, the ginger’s expression couldn’t be seen fully due to the angle of the camera. Perhaps there were similarities between the messages being conveyed through the gleam in each other’s eyes. 

_Maybe._

**Author's Note:**

> uhhh if you can copy and paste (im using rich text and idk how to link without html) hERE IS THE PICTURE!!  
> >> https://66.media.tumblr.com/2b3019fe1331f46c4c4fb3b0152d19bf/tumblr_peg2z4ibGY1rzf0zc_400.jpg


End file.
